7 March 2018

I was so bummed when I realised that the delivery we missed yesterday (6 March) was not the two books I’d ordered online, but my ‘A’ Level certificate. Don’t get me wrong – I was thrilled with my French grade, but I already knew it, so the certificate didn’t give me any new information. Dad had gone to the post office to collect it for me and I’d been looking forward to it for the entire day while at work. I was planning to curl up in bed with them and sip on coffee until I fell asleep. But alas! When I got home, it was just an envelope on the dinner table – no parcel, no books.

Oh well.

Work has been going alright. I can’t remember if I said it explicitly, but it didn’t take long for my mind to go into a state of anxiety. Probably three days in, I was already on my toes and sending out feelers to try not to screw up. I dwelled on every tiny mistake and had this feeling of wanting to throw the towel in and hide in bed. That’s a common motif in my life these days. It’s pathetic, I know.

But yesterday wasn’t too bad. Although WQ is not as outgoing as T, she is wonderful and very patient. She’s clearly very knowledgeable and experienced – she worked in another clinic before and apparently has been a vet nurse for about five years – and taught me a lot. I think I’m slowly getting the hang of things, but there are some skills, like handling unruly pets and force-feeding pills, that will take much more time and a lot of courage. Preparing for routine surgeries like castrations and spays isn’t too difficult. But you have to understand what each step is for, and you can’t always follow a linear mindset.

I got to speak to a lady in French today, and she said she was really impressed by my French. It made me feel so humbled and motivated and I just want to keep on studying it! I’m thinking of finding a way to practice speaking more, but it’ll be a stretch with my busy work schedule now. So little time, so much to do. Isn’t that always the case?

I’m going to read and study the L’Epouvanteur book now, and probably go to sleep a little earlier than normal. That probably means I’ll aim for 2.30am but actually sleep at 4am. Anyway, for that reason, I’ll keep it short today.

I really hope my books arrive soon.

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