1 March 2018

Today was my first day working at the clinic!

I’ve been looking forward to it so much and it really lived up to expectations. It was a good day. But that doesn’t really say much, because my standard for a “good day” has really dropped after all these months of anxiety and gripping depression.

I feel an obligation to have enjoyed 100% of it and to have had a perfect and faultless day. But to be completely frank, it did feel very disillusioning in the beginning. I guess that when I went for the work trial on 10 February, T made it so welcoming and warm that I had the idea that everybody would be like that all the time. But WQ and G, whom I only met today, weren’t exactly so. A was alright, I suppose – she’s not as friendly and bubbly as T, but she did teach me really patiently and guide me along. But I did feel a bit left out when they had their own conversations and such. That feels like a very self-centered thing to say, and not a thought I would openly express, but I honestly did feel that way. Lunch was also extremely awkward – I didn’t say more than 10 words.

But social interaction is just one measure of an experience, I suppose. Most of it was good. The work isn’t mind-boggling, but it requires confidence and hands-on skills that I know will take some time to build. The in-house computer database is easy enough thus far. And I learned how to give injections and draw blood, which was really fascinating. It feels so legit. I also dispensed some medication, which is also easy, although admittedly it will take some time to remember where all the medications are stored in the dispensary. There’s at least 100 little cubbyholes filled with boxes and bottled and syringes.

I witnessed another surgery too. Other than that, a lot of the work is… menial? I put the italics there because that word has connotes undesirability, but I enjoy it – sincerely. It’s small and simple tasks that the vets might be too busy to do, but I find satisfaction in it. In a sense, I’m contributing to the patients’ care. It’s all about learning the inner workings of a vet clinic, too.

Anyway, I’m still working at SB once a week. (Casual note to self: Check bank account for salary.) I’ve come to enjoy the work there and I guess I’m getting the hang of things. The recipes aren’t too difficult after some practice (what isn’t?). Yesterday (28 February), I got to make about 150 Frappuccinos during the one-for-one promotion. I worked with K and it was kinda great. It’s no secret that he’s gay – I got confirmation from F after I said that I thought he was dating H. The other possibility in my mind was that he was gay, and the latter turned out to be right. So yeah! And he can apparently tell that I am, too, but he hasn’t mentioned it to anybody. I’ve only actually told F.

Finishing my first real shift at the clinic today made me feel really accomplished and productive. And it spurred even more productivity! So after dinner, I decided to clean out the bunnies’ water bowls and give them fresh food and water, and also tidy and mop their living areas. I suppose, in my mind, that if I’m gonna take care of other peoples’ sick pets, then I should at least be able to help take care of my own.

I woke up at 6.35am yesterday after passing out at 10 or 11 last night (28 February). Mom’s phone light was pretty bright in the otherwise dark room, so I hung my old blanket on the steps of the bunk bed as a little curtain. It made a nice, dim lighting that I really liked as I fell back asleep, which is why I felt like writing it here and preserving that tiny memory. I woke up at eight-something later on and got ready for work.

I started out feeling like I had loads and loads to report, but I suppose that’s just it. Maybe I’ll have lots of cool new things to share when I post my next blog.

It’s 1.33am. I’m thinking of waking up at seven to have a run and enjoy a slow morning before work. Let’s see how it goes. Let’s see how much willpower 7a.m. Wesley has.

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