24 February 2018

I’ve said it many times before, but I get pretty scared thinking about how fast this year is moving by – we’re almost two months in.

I had a day-off today and I basically slept a bunch of it away. But I also went for a run and spent some time with my family. I’d bought some Starbucks pies and cakes to let them try and we had them while watching Ted 2 (2015). I wanted to do some writing in French, but it wasn’t very productive since I was distracted by the film.

Oh right! That reminds me – I got my ‘A’ Level French results today! I got an A and I’m so glad! Honestly, if I’d gotten anything less, I was ready to retake the paper this year. Thinking back on how anxious I was all of last year regarding my exams, I feel a little silly. It all turned out fine: an A1 for ‘O’ Level German, B3 for ‘O’ Level Chinese, and A for ‘A’ Level French. I’m so, so happy!

I got pretty riled up when I couldn’t find my internet banking token – a little rectangular device for generating a one-use PIN each time you want to do banking online. I got really pissed off and stressed out searching among all the piles of clutter in my room and around the house. It was a very irrational response, but it was my response nonetheless. And noticing the mess added to my stress too. One of my objectives for this long break (before university) was to pack my room, so I better get to it soon. I guess writing this down helps me be a little less anxious and overwhelmed. Having things written down or formulated into words just helps me when I feel like I’m drowning – it always has.

On the topic of feeling overwhelmed, I just recalled that I’m supposed to check out Residential College applications soon so that I have somewhere to stay during university. That’s a whole other complicated story, so I won’t get too much into it yet.

I start work at the veterinary clinic in a few days. I’m looking forward to it so much! I loved it there when I went for a work trial. I think I did write about it here – I hope so. I already have my schedule. It’s five days a week, nine hours a day. There’s gonna be so much to learn and experience, and that scares me sometimes, but I’m comfortable because I know the environment and I won’t be going in blind. Wish me luck!

I bought two LGBTQIA+-themed books on Book Depository: Anything Could Happen by Will Walton and We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson. I saw the former online in a list of books for LGBTQIA+ youth back in August of 2017 – I think. That was the time when I came across Carry On by Rainbow Rowell and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz. That book is still so, so dear to my heart and I keep it by my bedside. I saw We Are the Ants when I was out with J, K, and E on 18 January (I’m good with dates like that).

I’ve been knee deep in LGBTQIA+ literature lately. It’s as simple as feeling a connection wit the characters, I suppose, and also being able to root for gay couples in a world where happiness seems so elusive to us. I tend to escape into fictional worlds a lot, but it’s that much more comforting to fall into the world of a like-minded person who might go through the same struggles that I am familiar with. There’s just so, so much more solace.

I think I’ve gotten my mind to settle down. I’m in good spirits again, and looking forward to the future again.


P.S.: I’ve been adoring Austin and Patrick on YouTube. I love their videos and their personalities. They make such a good team (although I should note that they are not boyfriends) and the way they own their gayness is such an inspiration. They own it while keeping in real. Awesome.


P.P.S.: Runescape is having a Double XP weekend. Let’s see what we can do over these two days! Working at Starbucks on Sunday, though.

Life is great.


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