If anybody’s actually reading these posts, you’re probably already tired of hearing me say that I have a thousand thoughts swirling in my head. But yes, I have a thousand thoughts swirling in my head.
Over the weekend, on 3 February (Saturday), we had a BBQ party to celebrate my birthday which is on the 14th. And I have so much to share about that! But for now, I need to share the soup of worries and uncertainty in my head.
As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been working at SB for about two weeks now. I’d previously planned to work as a vet assistant and in December, I applied for a bunch of such positions. I only went into F&B because I’d thought that none of the clinics wanted me, and I just wanted to earn my keep and save some money before university starts in August.
About five days ago, though, one of the clinics sent me back an e-mail asking if I’m still looking for a job! Which would have been amazing news if I didn’t already start working at SB. They asked if I was interested in going in for a trial, which I am going to on the 10th.
I really hope that Aa is cool about it and that he understands. He said before that he knows that for part-timers, our future is not at SB. So I’d think he would be reasonable about it. The thing is, he was reluctant to hire future university students because they would leave after just a few months. So if I leave after just a month when he gave me a shot, then I guess I’d be letting him down and I might be the straw that broke the camel’s back for him. But at the same time, I need to think of myself and my future and not worry so much about what everyone else thinks and feels.
That sounds selfish, but rationally I know that to be true. I’ve just always had a hard time thinking rationally, and putting feelings aside – others’ as well as my own.