29 January 2018

The pace at work is picking up palpably. I’m at a stage where I’m slowly learning the menu, the recipes, and all the different procedures and routines we need to know. It can get quite overwhelming, especially when the entire café is extremely crowded. But again, I remain deeply grateful to everyone who has been so patient with me as I learn, even despite my blunders and such.

Of course, not everyone is super kind. I totally understand that they don’t need to be, but it does affect my outlook on the work, I suppose. I feel this constant pressure to do well. I’m always on my toes, trying not to do anything wrong, trying not to get on anyone’s nerves, trying not to have to rely on anybody.

Today I spilled a bucket of ice at the back of the house during peak period. There was a two-hour promotion, so the place was packed. But Aa was so totally chill and calm about it and helped me clean up. I’m so grateful. I hope I’m not fucking up and disappointing him. He interviewed me for the job, so I guess he must have expectations of me? Other than that, today, I also learned how to make cold beverages and J guided me along. He’s great. Calm, collected, patient, and friendly. I think I like making the cold beverages more than the hot ones, mainly because they’re easier, but it could also have to do with the fact that J made the environment and experience a much more amicable one. (Not dragging R or anything – just an observation.)

F, A, and B make me really dread the hot beverages. They made it doubtlessly clear that they didn’t want to teach me (“You teach la! I already kena teach Jd!”) and they have this aura of disdain about them. B clearly doesn’t like me and she’s not the type of person with the patience to guide a newbie along. Unless, of course, I’ve misunderstood her. I hope I have, but she doesn’t seem too nice based on conversations I’ve overheard.

Yesterday (Sunday, 28 January), C was the manager on duty. She is super nice. I also met Ch and Rch. All of them were really nice and I think that was my favourite team to work with so far. C is YW’s friend from university. She seems to know him well (She knows he’s gay, and as far as I know, he isn’t totally out of the closet yet, so she probably has to be quite close to him to know that). In a sense, that gave us a common topic of conversation. Either way, she was just so friendly and patient, and seems really nurturing. I got her number so that I could ask her questions if I need. (It feels weird for me to say the phrase “got her number” because I associate it with dating. Hmm.)

I just studied a few more recipes briefly and I’m going to sleep soon. I’ve decided to read “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” a third time. It is a genius book – the kind of book I’d hold to my chest and sob about. I tried to re-read “In Real Life” by Joey Graceffa, and it feels very different from when I read it in 2015.

Gosh, time flies. It’s scary. Now I’m an adult with a job? Can you believe that? I’m talking to you as if I was talking to a childhood friend. But you get me. Technically, I’m talking to myself because this blog is a collection of ruminations from my inner psyche. It’s also considered talking to myself since my readership is probably 0.

I’m been meditating with the Headspace app. It helps, I think. (I forgot if I already said that before.)

Things are okay.


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